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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body. ~Author Unknown
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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